Sleepwalking
by FromHeart2Mind
Summary: I truly, deeply, love you. And before we die, I want you to know. She didn't get the chance this time.......and it was all his fault.


**Sleepwalking**

Author: Seldom Darlin'

Disclaimer: I don't own anything no matter what so…..

A/N: I needed to write something and so I just started typing. LoL

Summary: Vader thinks Padmé's still alive so he returns to Naboo and finds some things out. Song Fic. Sorry had to. LoL

Warning: I am starting to be known as a song fic. writer and well I'm embracing that. I love them so I wrote another one. And if you don't like it you can just stop reading. I don't care.

Angst/Tragedy/Drama The whole enchilada baby!

Rating: K+ I guess it could be T but I don't think so. This is like some of my others but I think this one maybe one of my bests. But you know what I said that last time and people told me that it was my worst. And then I thought another one was my worst and they said it was my best. LoL What ever read anyway, please.

Just read it you critics! Crazy Crackers. (Don't steal my phrase) Lol

**Sleepwalking **

The brightening light of the coursing moon drifted over the slick surface of the palace roves as the dark figure crept from shadow to shadow. Following the outline of the building the man found his way to a veranda detailed in flowers. From behind the small building was the enchanting lake that he knew so well from his better days. As he made his way to the flowered veranda the moon fell onto his back twisting and revealing his large silhouette. And if anyone were around they would know oh too easily who this ghastly creature was. The man was Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, and right hand of the Emperor. And also betrayer of the jedi. Not many knew this and it was probably best for them all. It was probably best they only knew this pathetic being and not devote him any more by knowing he was a traitor as well as hero in it's own time.

As Vader came inside he connected to the Force, searching for Her. He knew that if they ever were separated that they would meet here. He would wait if she wasn't here even if it took all night. It was a promise he had to keep to her and her alone. After all that he had done he had to explain to her and apologize for what had happened on Mustafar. He wasn't himself there and even now…..he wasn't himself. But if she truly loved him like she promised she would accept this…..change.

Vader felt something he had never felt before as he walked around the veranda. It was like an emptiness that had once found him when his mother died but it couldn't……It couldn't be from….No he knew she was alright, she had to be. On Mustafar he had felt her, she was alive no matter what he had done to her. Her pulse was weak but she was alive. Something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye as he turned to see what it might be.

_Words so secure screaming like an alarm  
Are you trying to wake me up  
Now what was that you were trying to pull  
I do believe you're trying to wake me up_

He saw there, from under the gaze of the moon's streaks of light through the ceiling, a long rectangle shaped box. It was highly detailed and hand crafted. And to him it seemed to be the most unbelievable object in the world. It was beautiful and yet it was the most tormenting thing he had ever seen. From then on the Force seemed to scream in his head to turn back, to not even learn what could this object hold. And yet Vader seemed to need to know. It called to him in no other way anything else ever had.

_Now could it be, maybe  
It's not me sleeping  
Could it be, maybe, you awakening_

As he neared the crafted slate box his heart beat quickened and he felt as if it would burst right there. He hoped, no, he pleaded that this marker, this heart crushing item did not belong to his beloved. His legs seemed to get heavier with every bitter step, his shaking hands only proved to be more useless to catch him if he fell. From behind the mask his real eyes peered through the visor and gazed down at the inscription. At last his knees gave out from under him and he fell as his eyes leveled to the words. His breath was harsh as he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

_Now here I am, but I'm just sleepwalking  
Yes here I stand  
But I guess I'm just sleeptalking for myself_

At last his eyes met the words he so loathed and dreaded. His heart seemed to wrench from his chest as he felt no tears fall from his lonely eyes. No longer could they fall. He was a machine not a man. Only humans could cry. _I'm a monster. _He thought. He felt his hands grasp the stone from under him and try to straighten himself. _This can't be true. _His inner voice pleaded for this insanity to end. But instead the dark voice told the truth. _You did this. _Vader leaned against the coffin and felt his heart get split in two. _Oh god what have I done? _"Padme?" Vader pleaded her name into the darkness as a gust of wind gently pushed a flower over to him. He took in his hand just gazed at it for some time. At this point he wished he could lose himself in it. Vader knew that when his head stopped spinning reality would return with a vengeance.

_Sleep this time tonight  
Sleepwalk in the light  
Sleep this time tonight  
Sleepwalk out of sight_

He stood then as he fought against the searing pain within his heart. Never in his life had he felt this way. He had lost the only thing he had lived for. The one thing he tried so hard to protect but in the end he failed to protect her from himself. The moon seemed to fall upon him and him alone this night as if it knew the true tragedy from below. The sky had truly fallen for Vader after all this time of trying to lift it to the heavens. And at last the curtain fell on this pathetic play of despair. When he had arrived he had completely believed she would be here waiting for him. But in the end his belief had again failed to be true. First his belief in the emperor and now….this. In truth there was nothing left for him but he knew he still had his duties to Palpatine and to the empire. Yet it seemed that it wasn't enough to live for. She had been everything to him. His sky, his moon, his very being. And now She was gone.

_One day this world will see me at the horizon  
One day from a distant light  
And just before I stand to face my love  
I'll turn around  
And with a smile I'll say my goodbyes  
Just one last goodbye_

To what ever life he had ahead of him now he pleaded that it wouldn't last long. Vader gazed at the coffin for the last time and turned away but paused before he left. He took in the pain and anger he had now and felt it wash over him. The grief almost seemed unbearable as he let it fall upon him fully. He said his last, silent goodbye to his beloved wife, lover, and serenity. And when the pain stopped he pushed this whole experience in the back of his mind where it would stay until twenty years later. And with that he walked down the steps of the veranda and took his place as Darth Vader the Unstoppable. His heart had now become completely covered in ice and he truly believed it would never be warmed again.

_Goodbye  
Goodbye  
Goodbye_

Vader made his way to his ship and walked up the waiting ramp. He felt again the unbearable pain as the ramp closed behind him. And with that little exchange he again restricted the pain to pass. He grabbed that sickening snake of pain by the throat and thrust it to the ground within him. No longer would he fear or be plagued by misery. No longer would the light control his decisions. No hesitation would constrict him. And with that he vowed to walk in the dark forever. No matter the cruelty he showed he would fulfill his destiny as the ultimate ruler of the galaxy. And in his heart a small yet strong voice spoke to him. 'No matter your vows your heart will always be bound to hers. And with that she is in the light. No matter the shadows you hide in or the darkening of the night you will always have a candle inside. And this is because of her.' Vader screamed at this voice. He demanded it's silence but instead it would linger there in his mind to torment him.

_Sleep this time tonight  
Sleepwalk in the light  
Sleep this time tonight  
Sleepwalk out of sight_

Vader started the engines and left the beautiful planet as well as his memories. But even then he heard her voice call out in his mind. Could he be dreaming? Could this all be a simple dream? No of course not. And yet perhaps it was. No she wasn't dead, she wasn't in eternal sleep it was he who was. He remained in the dark to sleep there forever and she would always be somewhere else trying to wake him. As she lingered in Heaven he would be condemned in hell asleep and alone but alas he would wake and he would return to her in all due time. Until then he would have to sleep walk in his dream and try to make his way back to her. And she would remain in heaven trying so hard to wake him. Until then…….

_Sleepwalk this time tonight_


End file.
